Our TG Caption

Fred was a massive weeb with a "nice guy" complex. You aren't sure why you were friends with him, but who knows, maybe you can just give this junk to him or something. He comes over and you show him the lamp. Without hesitating, he grabs the lamp from you and rubs it. To your surprise, a genie merges from the lamp though weirdly enough, Fred didn't seem surprise at all.

"Thank you for releasing me. I am the genie of this lamp and will grant you two collectively three wishes."

You start thinking what you want to wish for.